Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Fe, Fi, and Boyfriend Fo

A conversation between two friends, Fe and Fi, and a boyfriend, Fo.

Fe: “I don’t believe in soul mates. I just don’t think God creates soul mates.”
Fi: “Oh, you just haven’t met your soul mate.”
Fe: “Excuse me?!!”
Fi: “I’m sorry but anyone who says they don’t believe in soul mates just hasn’t met theirs yet. I’m positive that Fo and I are soul mates, I just know it.”
[LONG pause.]
Fe: “If you and Fo are soul mates, then I don’t want to meet mine.”

It’s a funny, but true story, and I was intrigued by the conversation that took place. Courtney and her friends have long been discussing the myth (or truth) of soul mates and everyone has come up with their own conclusions. Personally, I do not believe in soul mates and I think the very idea has caused unrealistic expectations in relationships and therefore resulting in a higher number of divorces in society.

For instance, my parents would not be considered soul mates; they are just too different, both with their respective interests and their personalities, but they love each other very much. So, my question is, if they aren’t soul mates but married each other anyway, what happened to their “real” soul mate? Are they just wandering about the earth in search of something that is “missing” in their lives? And what would happen if my parents did meet their true soul mate now? Would they throw away 28 years of marriage because they finally found true “fulfillment”? Of course not, my parents have worked too hard and too long at maintaining a healthy and loving marriage to run away at the thought of being with a soul mate.

Secondly, I don’t think God would create soul mates for His children. He created us with the ability to make choices and have free will; the idea of soul mates takes away that free will. I, personally, believe that God creates a number of people that we would be compatible with but the moment we choose to spend the rest of our lives with someone, that one person becomes our soul mate! Love is a choice, it is NOT a feeling. You do not “fall out” of love with someone; it just doesn’t work that way. Every morning I wake up and I choose to love Jon; I choose to appreciate his good qualities; I choose to be faithful to him; I choose to love him as I want to be loved. And every morning, as long as I’m alive, I will make that choice and in doing that, he has become my soul mate.

I’m sure there are some great arguments for why soul mates do exist, I just don’t buy them. We all want to believe it exists, that God created just that ONE person especially for us, it sounds so romantic, but I firmly believe it’s a dangerous concept for both men and women to accept. I truly believe that more marriages would succeed if partners realized that they have already married their chosen and treat each other as the soul mates they desperately desire. Then all of the guesswork (have I or haven’t I found THE one) has been taken out of the equation.


Anonymous said...

EXACTLY how I feel, I couldn't have worded it better myself.

Sarah said...

Wow, I completely agree, but have never thought about it when talking about soulmates. Deep thoughts my friend and great ones! And remember our conversation about loving all our children equally. Sounds to me like you've answered your own fear, God is good!
Love, Sarah

Anonymous said...

You go girl....Preach it.

Jennifer said...

Some additional thoughts from my friend, Sarah, concerning my original post concerning soul mates. I thought they were worth sharing.

"You know, I think another good way to put it is, God has given us free will, and while He has a plan for our lives with our best in mind, we don't always choose His best. But amazingly, in His awesome Grace and love, He works out His perfect plan in light of our choices. We may suffer consequences for those choices, like if we marry a non-believer, but that doesn't mean that He has closed the book on His plan for us. And I personally think "soulmates" needs a new definition, a Christian one. It's not two half souls floating around looking for that only fitting other half to complete them. I think we all have a full soul, that is completed and fulfilled only by the Lord, and sometimes He calls us to a life of singleness, and that in no way means we are "incomplete". I think what a soulmate truely is is another complete soul that we have chosen to join our lives to, with the Lord's leading, to become one flesh with and to be more effective in the Lord's work together than we were apart. In that sense, we are soulmates, two souls, uniting in blessing and in power to be better together than we were apart. Just my thoughts to add."

Dana said...

waking up each day choosing to love our husbands and make them our champions--i completely agree. love your blogs...

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